THE CALL

I had a restless night last night. Sleep did not overtake me until 3:00 a.m. The call of the Wild One perhaps, whispering in my ear.




“Winter Solstice” by Rebecca Parker
Perhaps
for a moment…
the wheels stop rolling,
the computers desist from computing,
and a hush will fall over the city.
For an instant, in the stillness,
the chiming of celestial spheres will be heard
as earth hangs poised
in the crystalline darkness, and then
tilts.
Let there be a season
when holiness is heard, and
the splendor of living is revealed.
Stunned to stillness by beauty
we remember who we are and why we are here.
There are inexplicable mysteries.
We are not alone.
In the universe there moves a Wild One
whose gestures alter earth’s axis
toward love.
In the immense darkness
everything spins with joy.
The cosmos enfolds us.
We are caught in a web of stars,
cradled in a swaying embrace,
rocked by the holy night,
babes of the universe.
Let this be the time
we wake to life,
like spring wakes in the moment
of winter solstice.

JUST FOR TODAY......

1.  Just for today I will be happy.  This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true , that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."  Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.

2.  Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.  I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

3.  Just for today I will take care of my body.  I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

4.  Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.  I will learn something useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5.  Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways;   I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out.  I will do at least two things I don't want to do as William James suggests, just for exercise.

6.  Just for today I will be agreeable.  I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7.  Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once.  I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

8.  Just for today I will have a program.  I will write down what I expect to do every hour.  I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.

9.  Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax.  In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

10.  Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule #1:

Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

 

Written by Sybyl F Partridge in 1916 and printed in
"How To Stop Worrying, And Start Living" by Dale Carnegie, 1951

LET THE BAKING BEGIN......

Nothing lifts my spirits, like something baking in the oven. That being said, the recipe search is beginning early this year.

This one is so easy you have to try it.    I haven't baked it yet, but I will.......

The World's Best Fruitcake

By CaramelPie on May 31, 2005

Photo by Lorrie in Montreal

5 Reviews

• 
• Prep Time: 20 mins
• Total Time: 1 1/2 hrs
• Serves: 48, Yield: 2 loaves

About This Recipe

"My dad started making this fruitcake about 30 years ago. Everyone who hates fruitcake likes this, and everyone who likes fruitcake LOVES this. Many people say this is the ONLY fruitcake they will eat. I hope you'll try this. Just follow the directions EXACTLY, and you'll have the most wonderful fruitcake ever!"

Ingredients

• 14 ounces sweetened flaked coconut
• 8 ounces chopped sugar rolled dates
• 16 ounces pecan pieces
• 8 ounces candied cherries
• 8 ounces diced candied pineapple
• 2 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk

Directions

1. Place coconut, dates, and pecan pieces in a very large (7 quart or larger) bowl. With your hands break up chunks of dates & coconut, and stir those 3 ingredients together.
2. Add the cherries, pineapple, and sweetened condensed milk. Stir thoroughly. (I wear non-powdered surgical gloves, and stir it with my hands because the mixture is very stiff.).
3. Let set at room temperature while you prepare the pans. Spray 2 - 9"x5" loaf pans with Pam. Line the pans with waxed (or parchment) paper. (We cut parchment paper in 4 1/4"x 16 1/4" strips for this. You want the paper to come up past the short sides of the pans after the mixture is packed into the pans.) Now spray the paper (after you've pressed it into the pans) with Pam.
4. Stir the ingredients well again.Divide the ingredients equally between the 2 loaf pans.
5. Pack VERY TIGHTLY and smoothly into the pans. (I wet my hands & press, pack down, & smooth top, using both hands. Wetting your hands keeps them from sticking to "batter".).
6. Place the pans on the middle rack of the oven and bake at 300 degrees F for 1 hour, or until lightly browned. (If the cakes have baked for an hour, or look a little brown around the edges, take them out of the oven & lift edges of paper a little to see if sides look brown enough. If they're brown on sides, but not on top, you may broil the tops for a few minutes-watch carefully.).
7. Remove cakes from oven and let cool for 10 minutes in the pans.

Page 2 of 2The World's Best Fruitcake (cont.)

Directions (cont.)

8. Gently lift the edges of the paper a couple of times on each side - kind of a rocking motion. (Sometimes I have to run a sharp knife down the edges of the pan.) Turn pans upside down onto a paper-lined cookie sheet. Lift pans from the cakes. Remove paper from bottom of cakes IMMEDIATELY.
9. Let cool completely. Place in a large container (don't wrap yet) and refrigerate overnight.
10. Turn cake upside down to slice. After slicing, wrap in waxed (or parchment) paper, then in heavy duty aluminum foil.
11. May be refrigerated up to 3 months or frozen up to 1 year.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 (43 g)
Servings Per Recipe: 48

Amount Per Serving

% Daily Value

Calories 190.1

 

Calories from Fat 100

52%

Amount Per Serving

% Daily Value

Total Fat 11.1g

17%

Saturated Fat 4.0g

20%

Cholesterol 5.6mg

1%

Sugars 20.5 g

Sodium 51.9mg

2%

Total Carbohydrate 22.0g

7%

Dietary Fiber 1.4g

5%

Sugars 20.5 g

82%

Protein 2.4g

4%

AS THE YEAR DRAWS TO A CLOSE........

As 2010 draws to a close I confront another loss in my life. A sad loss, yet a merciful loss. How does one resolve that?  My brother in law passed away yesterday after a long journey with illness, too young to leave, but too ill to remain.  

I have struggled with that fact of life since I suffered my first loss at 4 years old and my "dearest Aunt Isa"  passed away at 30 years of age.  Her spirit was strong and the body weak.  But at 4 years old I could not understand the illness the took her away. I just felt the deep sense of loss.  

At 21 years of age I lost my father to cancer in his 58th year,  this time I blessed the end of his suffering and tried to help my mother cope with her grief. 

I lost my mum and my best friend at 52. We had a lifetime together after Da passed away and we became sometime combatants, then friends and finally sisters of the heart. She was the dearest friend I ever had. 

At 58 I lost my husband, a more complex relationship for sure, but his passing was accompanied by deep, deep pain and a long lingering grief. 

Two years later I lost my husband's sister, the strong woman and dear close friend who held me up on days that I could not find my own strength to do so. 

Then yesterday her husband moved on.

My brother told me at my mother's death that my weeping was not for my mother, but for myself and my loss. And he was most likely correct,  for is that not what grief is?  The longing to look upon the departed's  face, to smell them, to feel their touch, to hear their voice just one more time.  All very self-centered I am sure. Yet all of those longings will forever remain just that....longings.....and in those longings there is an abyss of sadness.

When death visits, as death will, it brings a flood of memories and pain of past losses. Makes me once again ponder the strength adversity offers and accept it or not we survive.

IN UNION STRENGTH

A Steak

I surely never hope to view

A steak as luscious as a stew.

The latter is the tasty goal

Of elements in perfect whole,

A mad assemblage of legumes

Exuding warm ambrosial fumes,

Each seasoning of proper length,

Proving in Union there's strength.

A steak is grander, it is true,

Yet needs no special skill to brew.

It is an art a stew to make,

But anyone can broil a steak.

unknown, 1880


I like the message of strength in unity in this poem.  Not to mention the comfort to both heart and stomach a humble stew offers.

MAUDLIN' MONDAY

Monday's were never my favorite day. Especially snowy Mondays. Particularly on November 8th.  But, that being said, here we are Monday November 8th, with snow on the ground early this morning and one inch of the white stuff covering my car.
A scramble for a snow scrapper was fruitless and I ended up using a long handled bathtub cleaning brush to clear off the car.  If winter has arrived this early, I better get myself into snow mode and dig out (pardon the pun) the snow clearing tools tonight.
Like I said  maudlin' Monday.....

THANKS

My Gran was a suffragette. I was raised on tales of her marches for women's right to vote. I  don't believe she was ever arrested, but I do know she was as passionate as the ladies in the article above. Each election day I thank her and all of those world wide who fought and continue fight for that right for all people. 

On this day, each election cycle, Gran walks with me to the polls.  Even though I never met her in life, she is a part of the fabric of my soul in so many ways.

Thanks Gran......

LOSSES

"There's always someone coming, or going."  A Scottish phrase expressing the fleeting impermanence of life and the fact that there is always someone being born and someone passing over. It was one of my mum's  expressions, one that summed things up in a simple phrase. The Scots can be a race of few words on occasion. But in those few words they express the essence of the event.
In these past few days, I have received news of two souls departed from this world too soon. One in their mid-thirties, other a decade or more older, but still too young. At least to someone of my decade. It makes one pause, it does. It makes one ponder how precious each day is, how important it is to tell those you hold dear, how much they mean to you. It makes one breath the air a little deeper, savor its freshness, and say a prayer for the bereaved.  Bless them all in their hours of darkness.......

DOORS

A friend of mine blogged about doors today. She posted a lovely image of a purple door and asked about the opportunities doors offer us. They invite us to enter, move beyond, or avoid them. They offer us opportunity, mystery, excitement and sometimes danger.

It struck a chord in me.   Not a philosophical one, but rather a memorable one, buried deep in the recesses of my mind.

As a youngster living in a council housing scheme in Scotland once every other year the city sent workers around to paint the front doors of each house. This was an exciting event for me. Each day I watched as neighborhood doors were painted, Mrs. Smith got a green one, Mrs. Balmer got a blue one, Mrs. Braceland got a yellow one, and lucky Mrs. Robertson got a shiny red door. I tried to formulate the color system, hoping with all my heart our door would be painted pillar box red. I had a penchant for red at that time. Each day, the painters would advance, each day the door colors would rotate,  then the paint would run out and another day would wane.

After what seemed like an eternity, I came home from school one day and low and behold our door was newly painted hunter green..... disappointment....no red door this year. 

But  hope springs eternal and before I knew it the painters would be back again and the door color lottery would begin once again.


Simple pleasures....

CELTIC WISDOM

Beannacht / Blessing

by John O'Donohue (1956 - 2008) Timeline Original Language English

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak

WINTER WHISPERS

The Autumn leaves go drifting by..... Tai Chi classes have wound down and it is time to be a Little Red Hen and do prep work for winter.  That meant a very busy and pain inducing  Veteran's Day working on the the bi-yearly plant preparations. The indoor plants, currently outside are whispering to me that they are thinking about their indoor home.  No problem you say?  Perhaps, if I was not such a collector. I have added two orange trees, two papyrus plants and a few more geraniums to the host of plants looking for real estate in a sunny window.

That being the case yesterday was clean-up and clean-out day. Clearing space upstairs in the southern exposure bedroom windows for my sun loving plants and clearing filtered light corners for my not so fussy ones.   A task that I make more difficult than it need be, as I get lost in memories as I move things around, and discard some items (Like pulling teeth for me). But mission accomplished..... I moved beds to enable me to relocate the rugs beneath them. I cleaned under the rugs, and the corners that are often ignored.  I upset my wee shih tzu tremendously as she checked on the upheaval every 30 minutes or so, and I realized  yet again, what a gatherer I am.  And not in a good way.

I collect items for projects, that do not get started. I am an infomaniac and have papers and articles galore. Ideas don't travel from my head to my hands.  I have ghosts of hobbies past too good to discard, yet lying like an orphan in a forgotten binder. That bothers me, as I prepare for winter, time after all never comes around for a second visit. Yet I continue to act as if I shall live forever, steeped in the denial of my mortality. For surely the only way I could accomplish using all of this information would be if I actually was immortal.

Add to that losing loved ones, which  has a way of stopping time for those left behind. That being said, I am tired of stagnating in "stuff", holding memories in "things" closing myself up in the memory chest.  Time to push back the drapes and let the winter sun into my heart to illuminate the dark corners.  Then maybe, just maybe, I will become willing to bless what I find there and let them go. 

TAI CHI # 8

Last night we had beginners in the class. It takes a beginner to highlight one's position on the learning curve.  As they moved through the forms, with this heel up, and that arm down, I found myself flowing through at least 80% the movements looking a little like I knew what I was doing.  Voila!


So I raise my glass to  beginners everywhere for the insights they offer and I raise my glass to   experts everywhere who willing to share their knowledge with others.  And finally,  I salute all of us at various stages between those two vantage points, for participating, engaging and just plain "giving it a go".  For being fearless about looking awkward,  for showing up  and improving each week,  be it ever so slowly.

That after all, is what life is all about....... No?

AUTUMN

I adore Autumn's palate. It's colors so rich and vibrant. Mother Nature's journey of sprouting, blooming, harvesting, and going to seed continues, as does mine.

THE FALL DIET

For many. many years Fall has been my new beginning. Odd perhaps, but when my son returned to school his mum returned to the newest diet offered that month. Of course my  resolve withered pretty fast, and Halloween  always was a break-down night, that is if I made it that far.
Times have changed, as times will do, now in my sixties I find my blood tests are not the healthy ones I had all of my life. I was shocked. Moi? pre-diabetic, LDL elevating as I write and joint pain......no one told me about joint pain and the way it wears one down. Where are my golden years as I travel through this decade?  And the bad news is there is no good news on the horizon.
But, I am still  Pollyanna at heart, so I dragged my ample butt to Weight Watchers on Saturday and here I go again......
Now let's see if I can hang in there this trip and stay the course.  I am not betting on it...but I am praying on it......

TAI CHI # 7

Last night was a wild night. Stormy, wet and windy It was a mad dash from the parking lot to the exercise room and I was soaking wet by the time I got to my destination. The instructor arrived a few minutes after me in an even squishier condition. The rainstorm had drenched her from head to toe.

As the class began, with the four people who showed up, something was out of sync.  Me of course, but that is normal I always manage to move half a beat slower than the class. But this was more than that. The warm up completed we went into the forms. It then became apparent the teacher was "off balance". She explained she had come from taking a class, to teaching a class.  Apparently, the juxtaposition of her role from student to teacher had not quite blended this evening.  Now this is a lady who has been a Tai Chi practitioner since the 1980's.


This wet hen found great comfort in that last night. My teacher, is still a student of another guru. And 7 weeks into this new study there is a chance I am not such a slow learner after all.  This slow, relaxed, stress free exercise,  touted so much these days for its accessibility and ease, is in fact a disciplined, ancient, martial art, that cannot be learned overnight, or in 7 weeks.  So the journey continues and the wonder of it all remains...... 


And lo and behold,  underneath my self criticism sits the scratchy thorn of my personal motto: "Dear God I want patience and I want it right now!"   An interesting awareness in my journey towards peace. Funny how it always surfaces in it's own inimitable prickly way.   But that is why I am here after all.....

SOUP WEATHER.

The temps are dropping and soup is calling my name. To that avail I Googled Thai soup recipes and found a wonderful cooking blog.  I don't think I have admitted here that I am a recipe-aholic. I take cookbooks to bed at night as lovingly as some take romance novels. 

Anywho, I digress, as I am prone to do. I found this site to be most worthy of a click, and then at least a weekly visit.

http://www.elanaspantry.com/

THANK YOU - CIRCA 1908

 As I stated in my profile, I am a magpie at heart. A collector of all things shiny, and other objects that catch my eye. The following thank you note is from a 1908 scrapbook I found in my travels.   It harks back to a different time, and is beautifully written.


"My dear Mr. and Mrs. Allen


        I hope it will make you happy to know that you have made two other people very happy indeed!!! 


        Now that we are settled in the new little house I can tell you what I could easily have prophesied before: that the lovely silver vase which you sent as a wedding gift is most wonderfully becoming to our guest room dressing table.  It is a dainty invitation to every blossom which crosses our threshold!


       Thank you many times for your share in this home and for the friendship of which it is so beautiful an expression."

                                             

Gratefully yours,


                                 Elizabeth French Babbott
                                 102 Pierreport St.
                                  Brooklyn


                                 

WHISPERS

My melancholy is whispering to me this day................

TAI CHI # 6

Something amazing is happening, six weeks in and though I still don't like the reflection I see in the mirror, she is definitely a different woman than she was six weeks ago. Graceful, no, but less awkward, yes, yes and yes.
Every week is an adventure at the Center. 

This week as I walked in a lady said to me "You are an Elvis fan, yes?"  I replied; "No, I am a Beatles fan." "Oh", she exclaimed, as I continued walking into the building to sign in. Then lo and behold, ten feet in front of me stood Elvis.  He looked about 35 years younger, but flashy as ever, with a colorful paisley shirt, a wide sparkling gold belt, sunglasses, tight spandex pants, perfectly coiffed black hair and tanned to the hilt.

Now I knew he was not there for Tai Chi.  Nope, the room outside of the exercise room was full of patrons anxiously anticipating the entrance of Elvis.  As I waited outside of the exercise room for the Zumba class to finish Elvis appeared on stage to the music from the movie "Space Odyssey".  A musical introduction I am sure he carefully chose. It seemed rather grandiose to me. But, who am I too judge Elvis? The crowd went wild.......


So, Tai Chi last night was performed to the beat of Elvis rather than to the normal meditative Chinese music.We are moving more cohesively, relatively speaking, considering it is only our sixth lesson.  However, how could one not feel the movement flow with Elvis, right next door, alternating from rocking it out with "Blue Suede Shoes",  to crooning  "Are you Lonesome Tonight?"     A perfect mix of East and West.

10 QUESTIONS

I found these questions circulating on various blogs.......interesting to ponder.

1. What simple pleasure would you miss most if it was no longer a part of your life?

     I miss having a companion. I never realized how much 

     widowhood would impact my core. 

2. What was one of your prized possessions as a child or teenager?

     As a child my prized possession was "Twinkle" a turquoise 

      three wheeler bike, that  sparkled in the sun  

      and sped downhill  with at least two riders, 

      one steering and one standing up on back of the bike. 

      I can still feel the wind in my face.

3. Name a book you’ve read (or movie you’ve watched) multiple times.

    Love Actually.   A romantic Christmas movie.....perfect.

4. What is your current career/vocation? If you could try another one, what would it be?

     Draftsperson/Office Manager.       Artist extraordinaire!

5. If you could take a six-month sabbatical, where would you go and what would you want to do/learn/study?

     All of my life I have loved India, the color, tradition, 

      music, food, spirituality.

6. In your opinion, what is the quintessential comfort food?

     Dark chocolate.

7. What was a formative moment or turning point in your life?

     Discovering, I was accepted and forgiven........

      Just as I am.

8. Do you have any regrets that are particularly difficult to shake?

    I did the best I could, with the knowledge I had at any 

    particular time in my life.   

    Regrets some, but none to difficult to shake.  

     See question 7........

9. If you could be really talented at a skill of your choice, what would it be?

     Painting/Drawing/Photography........................

10. If you had to choose one word to describe what you hope your life is like in 10 years, what would it be?

     Grateful.

AGING PARENTS

This  You Tube video brought me to tears.......
Perhaps because I am closer to the aging parent stage than the child stage.
Perhaps because it reminds me of my mother whom I cared for impatiently at times.
Perhaps because it reminds me of families I know who at this moment are living and struggling with this season of life.
Perhaps because it is inevitable for all of us, if we live long enough.
But mostly because of the powerlessness that I try so hard not to acknowledge in my life. I cover it with a veil of control that is only an illusion. When I  know in my heart that powerlessness needs to be embraced rather than ignored, or cast aside.  And, from that embrace comes acceptance and peace. This in my heart I do know..................and that is the scariest thing of all, for me.  Needing someone, who might not be there.

TAI CHI # 4 & 5

I have been remiss about posting of late. However, I did attend two classes since my last post.  The funny thing is it is not getting any easier each week. I expected more progress. However my expectations have often side tracked me in the past, so I shall accept the journey.

My right foot, I have discovered, has a mind of its own. There I am holding the proper pose and lo and behold I realize my right heel is raised when it should be flatly planted on the ground. Now my focus is on my right heel, I lose track of the hand positions, my tree hugging arm should match my dominant leg.
Sheesh..... this reminds me of my  faltering beginning attempts to practice meditation.  Wait a minute.....eureka.... my right heel is raised ......an awareness.......lower the heel and  let the movements flow.  It's a simple as that.  Four weeks ago, I was not even aware my heel was raised at all. Now that is progress.

As usual, my expectations are not an accurate barometer for me. They are something to reach for, but falling short of them is not a catastrophe.  Gratefully, that is lesson that I learned a long time ago, after many years of soul searching. But, I have to keep reminding myself that it is a lesson learned.

I used to believe when I learned how to live in balance that I would not longer have to seek it. Then a wise sage explained to me that one does not automatically awake in balance each day simply because one has become aware of it.  It's not that easy. Simple never is, after all.  She explained; one re-centers daily to align oneself with the sense of balance that one has discovered.  Amazing.....and it makes this life odyssey so interesting.

TAI CHI # 3

Journaling progress, an interesting concept.....progress.

The Tai Chi instructor was late this week, so we students with a capital "S" warmed up as we awaited her arrival. We stretched, swung, and attempted to teach each other what we had retained over the past two classes.  

The swami arrived, harried but in command, and immediately began the routines. In this class I had particular difficulty in coordinating my feet and hand movements in a certain movement, the teacher corrected me once, twice, three times, and finally said to me, "You are  thinking too much, instead of letting things flow naturally."    Harrrumph.......


How did she get to know me so well in only three classes?

VEGAN TILL SIX

Continuing the ultimate quest for a sensible eating lifestyle, my latest find for your consideration:

VEGAN TILL SIX  PLAN - Mark Bittman, Readers Digest.

 "My arrangement with myself is that from the time I wake up until dinner I eat only fruits, vegetables, whole grains and legumes. I don’t even eat white bread during the day. And then starting at dinner, I do. I have one meal a day when I do pretty much what I want, which is normally quite indulgent."  

 Mark Bittman lost 35 lbs eating this way and brought his cholesterol, and blood sugars into normal range. I should be so lucky, but it does sound  do-able.........

TAI CHI # 2

Class # 2 last night, another awakening. The 30 minute warm-up exercises once more had my knees screaming........hopefully this too shall pass.  In the second half hour of movements we picked grapes, stroked the horse's mane, flew like a butterfly,  soared like an eagle, and  rolled and patted the ball of energy only the teacher can see.

All very interesting hand gestures, then the teacher add the foot movements! Well, whilst I was moving my individual hands in a clockwise and counter clockwise direction, the part of my brain that takes care of my feet went AWOL. I felt sympathy for the teacher, looking at my tortured  reflection in the mirrored wall. My body wobbled, creaked and felt so far away.


Then the door opened, in popped a white haired lady reminiscent of the Principal's mother in the Simpson's cartoon.  She announced to the class that we have a wonderful instructor, and told us to enjoy every minute.  The door closed and she evaporated into the hallway.  The teacher explained to us that she was 93 years old, and had taken classes because she thought Tai Chi was for old folks. Well that's the kind of old lady I want to be, 93 and still stepping up for classes....... Come on knees, we have miles to go before we sleep.

HOW TO BE ALONE

Found this, and really enjoyed her thoughts and images.........



A favorite found phrase of mine from many years back is:

"If you find me here by myself
 Don't think of me as lonely
 Just alone." 

BLOOMING TEAS.....

Tea has always been my beverage of choice....after water. My everyday tea is PG Tips, not gourmet by any means, but the brand I was raised on.  The water must be boiled and the tea brewed in a teapot for me.  No bag in a cup of warm water with the string dangling over the side, like a fishing line, with a wee label on the end like a lure. I never cottoned onto to that look, or taste.   I want the tea leaves to float freely in the boiling water, and slowly release their flavor.  Not hurried, but in their own time.

I want a cup of tea  that is treated with the respect  it deserves. After all it makes me stop,  practice a little self-care, then offers me the comfort of a warm embrace from tea times past, whilst offering me the opportunity to be fully present, here now, with this cup.

  The following video of blooming teas is a feast for the eyes, and hopefully the taste buds. A joy for the senses.  I offer to you......................

The Men That Don't Fit In

There's a race of men that don't fit in,
    A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
    And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
    And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
    And they don't know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
    They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
    And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
    What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
    Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
    With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
    Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
    Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
    In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
    He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
    And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
    He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;

    He's a man who won't fit in.

I have always loved the writings of Robert Service.  The characters, awe,  longings, fear and wildness expressed in his work.

I relate so much to The Men Who Won't Fit In. This poem describes my own restlessness, a Scottish curse perhaps, that travels with many of us in our wanderings (physical, emotional and spiritual), and becomes a teacher in our old age.

"And now is the time to laugh" ........

TAI CHI CLASS #1

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Tai  Chi class #1.

The first class was fraught with thoughts, rather than flowing movements. Kind of reminiscent of getting a mammogram, and with the dismal condition of my creaky knees just a painful. Put your right foot in, your left foot out, raise your arms with your palm up lower with your palms down, hold the imaginary ball of light, pull in energy into one's solar plexus. The only thing that was promising was that we were all quite slow movers, which was a plus for the teacher. 

After 30 minutes, I thought my right knee had turned into a bowl of rice crispies and the left was screaming at me to stop. But onward I went through the 60 minutes, no air conditioning and sweating profusely.  The next day was pretty bad with my knees still grumbling to each other about the abuse they sustained the night before. But, eventually, over a few days, they calmed down.  However, they are in for a shock on Thursday when once again they are called upon to bend and flex for another hour.

I trust after the ten-week course, the knees will be more flexible, and I will be too.

SQUISSSHHH

The air is oppressive.

It drapes like a heavy cloak.

Around my shoulders...........

I wonder if humidity is good for the complexion?  In Scotland we always declared that rain was the secret of our fair complexions. Water is life after all,  and mist does a body good.  The joints are another matter altogether.  Makes one ponder the ying and yang of life,  it does.....

BROKEN PLACES

I am taking my old achy knees to Tai Chi classes tonight. The bad right knee and the aching left knee that I twisted last Friday, hunkered down, staining a corner of the deck that dh built 25 years ago. The area was designed never to be reached by human hands, or so it appeared to me last Friday. My knees paid the price of my stubborness to stain that particular area. I am not sure how the exercises will go, but go I shall.

More and more with each passing week, I find my body is letting me know it is present, and not in a healthy way. I do not like that feeling..... Perhaps it is too late...but perhaps it is not. Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life and a call to live, after all.

Today, I am thankful for aches that talk to me, and new beginnings that are always within reach.


Onward..... into the fray

WHERE DOES TIME GO?

Its been a while since I posted, yes indeed, a while. Where have I been? In the land of the lonely some days, in the land of the lost many days and in the land of self imposed irrelevancy every day.

However, a few weeks ago, I was called for jury duty. Fretting immediately set in. How shall I get there by bus, drive and walk three blocks in the city in 100 degrees, my oh my, one worrisome day after another passed by. The big day arrived, I got a ride, exhale. For the first day in a very long time I was relevant, my service was needed, my opinion counted. People listened to me. No I was not chosen for a jury, after all I have a history in my professional life, of plotting and drafting many accident surveys over the past thirty years. Ergo, was not wanted by lawyers for a civil case involving an insurance company. But, the call to service was a blood transfusion, a validation, that no matter how far I have distanced myself from life it is only one step away from me at all times.

Reading Joseph Campbell while waiting to be summoned lifted me up also, how can one read his writings and not be enlightened.

" Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again."

" One great thing about growing old is that nothing is going to lead to anything. Everything is of the moment."

Joseph Campbell

Amazing..... just amazing. Perhaps I will venture out more to participate in the moment. Thank you Joseph Campbell for your teachings, and thank you to the State for the simple call to life....

Awakenings come in strange packages at times.......

PAULO NUTINI

A wee boy from Paisley, my new favorite.