SMILE.....

Thought  to ponder:

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
— Thich Nhat Hanh

 

SOME DAYS.....

Some days one just runs of of "feel good." And this winter is  feel good energy sapper for those of us drafted into the snow moving business on a weekly basis.     Eight...yes eight snow storms since December's end.   This magpie mirrors my current sensibility.  I do love sparkly snow, but I would so much rather just purchase some of Martha Stewart's wonderful sparkly glitter.  I would not have to shovel that into five foot walls that make one feel like one is living in the trenches.


On a positive note, I have lost 5 lbs over the past three storms. Bringing my weight loss to a total of 15 lbs since November, 2010. And my blood sugar this morning was 83 when it usually runs around 104.  So even a disgruntled magpie has something to be grateful for. No matter, how much she dislikes the process the outcome is positive. 

So, it seems that an ancient one has been whispering in my ear.    Upon examination of my predicament  I finally heard them and accepted the blessing.   Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.  But please, next big storm, send me snow plow.

JANUARY

Do angels catch cold?   If they do this poor wee fellow is overdue to be moved inside.  The NE has been hammered this January, snow, more snow, sleet,  ice, more snow, and another Nor'easter next week.  Such is New England. I accept that, but enough is enough. Even tough Yankees are beginning to grumble as we are pummeled by two storms per week.

I am ready for Saint Valentine to pay a visit. Perhaps his warm, loving heart will soften the atmosphere. One can only hope.......

SO BE IT....

I was very sick over the holidays...... hospital sick in fact. But in my normal stubborn, stoic Scottish way I would not give in and go to the emergency room, or the doctor. I toughed it out, was a "good wee soldier" like I was expected to be as a child and in fact revisited my childhood memories of fear and vulnerability.  All the more potent with no sense of emotional, or physical back-up from a caretaker.
Art Linkletter said "old age ain't for cissies",  but in my experience of late, widowhood is only one step behind the challenge of old age.  At no time did I experience such  a deep sense of fear  than in the middle of the night, when was sick and alone.  Oh sure I could have called someone, but it was the holidays and people were busy making merry. No one wants a wet blanket call  at holiday time.   Solitude can be comforting at times. but it can also be an unwelcome companion. But welcome or not, it has to be accepted and embraced in order to find peace and comfort within it.
So here I am one week past the health crisis, on the mend, still alone, still feeling a sense of  unease, yet still standing. And, still a stubborn stoic...........


  Amen.............