MEMORIES

Memories of 44 years ago when the Beatles were performing in Glasgow. I had seen them a few years earlier when they were The Silver Beetles and instantly fell in love with George. We knew immediately this was a different sound and oh how we loved it! They were radical! My generation, long haired, brash, radical young lads from Liverpool of all places. Liverpool was a disenfranchised place in the 60's not quite worthy of being part of England in many eyes.....but then the Beatles blew that notion out of the water. We Scots understood that concept; we were a Scots when we lost and Brits when w e won......same with Liverpool, back then anyway. But back to the Beatles; adults hated them, a bad influence and all of that, twisting the minds of an entire generation, they said. Now they are members of the British Empire, knighted by the Queen. Boy, times change.
I digress from the lost interview......I can't wait to see it and be transported back to a time when a Beatles LP was the most important thing in my world. When young Liverpudlian men were very popular when I was holidaying on the Isle of Mann. When the world was young, and life was full of fun, and the Beatles wrote the score. What could be better?

HOPE.....

ACCIDENTAL FUNGUS LEADS TO PROMISING CANCER DRUG.

  An interesting fungus may in time offer hope to thousands, even millions, stricken with various cancers. I can only pray its promises come to pass.......too late for those I have loved and lost, but in time for many others.

What a blissful celebration that will be!

Jeannie

LESS IS MORE

I admit it, I am an overdoer. I work too hard for too long, eat too much, feel the need to over do it most of the time. I am heavy handed in drawing, heavy handed in adding spices to food, I am impulsive, etc. etc. etc.
I know not from whence this trait comes, but come it did and I have lived with it all of my life. Perhaps, being the daughter of an alcoholic has bent me toward excess; if at least using a different mode from my Da. Perhaps my Celtic roots give me both the predestination and the tenacity to endure, perhaps even embrace overdoing (this is a theory presented by my dear son). But I do know in my overdoing there lies a comfort of sorts, especially in physical tiredness. When I feel physically spent, I feel no pain but the physical kind; in the knees, the back etc. Maybe, just maybe, burying emotions takes a lot of physical work. And there are emotions to be submerged right now.
But then, that has been my story for as long as I can remember. Healthy? No, but ach, dinna fret, it has become a way of life.............maybe one day, when I am totally worn out, the need to bury the pain will pass, but for now................onward

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

The beauty being captured in space shows the Universe in all of her dazzling glory, adorned in beauty and truly unique. Who would have guessed the wonder of it all. It is the things dreams are made of, mystical, breathtaking images created from light, color and lack thereof.

Considering the turmoil down here these days, it is a call from the heavens to pause, soar, relish and refresh. Such wonder in the galaxy can only offer hope!

Jeannie

AMEN

"I walked a mile with sorrow and not a word said she, but oh the things that I did learn when Sorrow walked with me"

Once again, the circle diminishes, we close ranks for a day or two or three or four, whatever it takes, we weep, we hug, we laugh and we mourn another family loss. The losses are now closing in from parents to siblings. Life seems more fragile, emptier and infinitely less rich as the funny, warm, spirit of my eldest brother took his leave. He did not go quietly into that dark night. He fought till he could fight no more. I was with him when he stopped his labored breathing and when he took his last breath here, I prayed he was breathing deeply somewhere, for the first time in weeks, free from pain and suffering.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Amen

GOING ON...... four years later

Having fallen into apathetic routine was inevitable knowing my past history. Stumbling forwards and sometimes backwards through widowhood has stretched my resolve to breaking point, at times, and worse than feeling ready to break, it also brings a deep sense of apathy more often than I would like. Add to that the aging process which brings it's own threats and one can feel like one is under siege.
I don't like the sense of being a victim that creeps into my mind at regular intervals. I won't accept it. I know not from whence it comes. But, I know it stalks me. I reject it, yet the unease as it cloaks me in for a moment or two is both uncomfortable and unsettling. Although rejected it still leaves a haunting question mark in my sense of peace.
I celebrate widows everywhere who struggle as I do, to find a meaningful life in being the one left behind, the survivor. No easy task, but one filled with challenges, discoveries, tears of both joy and sorrow.
Life is but a series of letting go......and perhaps that is the biggest lesson of all.

CYCLES

"If the world seems cold to you, kindle fire to warm it."

- Lucy Larcom, hymnist

In re-reading my last post of roughly six weeks ago, the world appeared cold to me. Lately I have come through disorganization, limited despair, and worries I believed (at the time) I had no control over. Which has led me to the above quote: "If the world seems cold to you, kindle fire to warm it."
I did not knowingly kindle fire, what I did was walk through the mental fatigue brought on by the obstacles seemingly beyond my control. I held on, then let go, then moved on, all in the simple act of waking up each day and living it.
So maybe kindling the fire is achieved by the simple act of walking through each day we are given, at the pace we find suitable for that particular day, then laying our head on the pillow at night in the knowledge that today we lived......AMEN