IN THE DEPTHS OF WINTER

"In the depths of winter, I finally found there was in me an invincible summer."

- Albert Camus, author

Lots of snow is on the way tonight, not that snow is not beautiful mind you. But as winter draws on sometimes I find myself dragging. The season seems too long, too cold, too expensive to heat the home, etc. etc. etc. A dear friend of mine, going through tough times, shared similar burdens with myself and others this morning. I told her, from my heart, this too shall pass, and she is, without a doubt, more than strong enough to weather any storm.
Then I checked my mail, and serendipity throws the above quote my way. An unrequested validation of the beliefs I had just shared with my friend, and a reminder of a ephiphany past, when I realized that by going within I will find everything I seek.
In ME there IS an invicible summer. At times it may become blanketed by my insecurities and fears. But brush them aside and there it is, shining in the golden July sun, My Invincible Summer warming my soul.

AS I WALKED OUT ONE EVENING

As I Walked Out One Evening
by W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on. style="font-weight:bold;">

DEBT....

This year I made up my mind to get a hold on my finances. I even bought a Suze Orman DVD (with my credit card of course) to give me tips on how to do that. Stop charging, cut up the cards and keep lowering the balance each month is the synopsis of the DVD. Didn't I know that? Of course I did! So why was I compelled to charge her DVD, on credit, to verify knowledge I already have????
Suze says it's all about valuing oneself, so this month I ordered her latest book, on my credit card, to delve deeper into how love myself without going into debt....anyone see an irony emerging here?
My money is still on Suze to help me climb up the side of the hole I find myself in and reaching the top full of self-worth, with money hanging out of my pockets. In the meantime I can't cut up ALL of the cards until she stops offering me her bedazzling financial advice via DVD and/or self-help books.
Next year maybe........ I will get a hold on my finances........

A DAY OFF

How precious a day off is, and thanks to two President's past I have one today! No shady rill for me today, it is close to zero degrees. The cold, cold wind wraps around you as you walk outside, whispering in your ear of the dangers it holds. But it is sparkling out there, the very essence of winter. The ice shines like crystals reflecting the prizms of light it catches from the cool white sun.
This is why I love those wonderful Victorian paper ornaments of people wrapped in white ermine and dusted with glitter. This is the world of Winter in all her glory. Cool, irridescent and deadly. Nature cleansing herself. Global warming today, seems very far away!